Non-OCD sufferer Point of View

  Most articles and forums are for people who suffer from OCD, , but I think it’s just as distressing to be the one who lives with the person with OCD, , so I’ve taken this chapter to write about it, and explain why it’s really difficult for the non-sufferer. I’m going to try and explain it from my own past and point of view; I think this will be more real and informative then just explaining why it’s hard, ill start by telling my story of living with someone with OCD, , but please remember, I’m explaining it in the way I felt at the time, and now I know the person didn’t mean anything she said to me.  ‘My first experience of been around someone with OCD, started when I met my ex-girlfriend, lets call her Michelle, well, I was young of the tender age of 21, and as I’ve previously said only really getting over my traumatic teens, anyway, I met Michelle on a night out, through a friend of a friend, she was great, and I fall for her instantly, a week into seeing her, I noticed when I was at her house she used to disappear allot, and not really explain why, but I didn’t really think anything of it to be honest,  but this came to a crunch a few days later when she told me she had a problem, and that she didn’t really want to tell me because I treated her so normal, which it seemed wasn’t something she was not used too, well she went on to tell me that she has something called OCD, , at the time I had no idea what it really was, but as she explained I realised that I had suffered from it to  a degree in my teens. Well, I told her not too worry and we just carried on. Michelle and me fell for each other, and I mean hard, and is still today one of the loves of my life, even after what happened. Michelle lived in her own house so it meant I could stay there when I wanted, this ended up been five or six days out of seven,  but I noticed things start to change, when I was at her house the first thing she said to me was to wash my hands, not once not twice but at least three times at a time, sometimes four or five times a day, this was as I entered the door, I always did this, she’d make me shower, wash my hair, even change my clothes, at this point I was starting to get distressed myself but I loved her, what could I do?. As time went on things got worse and worse, she’d scream at me if I didn’t do something correctly, such as feed her cat or put pots in the dishwasher machine right, every action I made I had to think ahead, like plan my actions because I knew if I did something slightly wrong she would go crazy at me, but I knew it wasn’t really her talking, I knew this and this kept me going, I’m not the sort of person to quit!!, But this all got to a head when I organised a trip for her birthday, this involved going horse riding and to a restaurant, I planned everything, and got my mum to drive us, my mistake was turning up to her house 20 minutes early, I walked in and instantly she started shout and screaming at me, saying ‘you’ve ruined my day, why do you always do this, I hate you’, as you can imagine this made me feel like s**t, real bad, and for the rest of the day she hardly spoke to me, or even smiled,  this made me feel angry sad and embarrassed as the whole event was witnessed by my family, I thought to myself ‘How could she do this to me, what have I done to deserve this?’, At times she used to be a heap on the floor crying her eyes out, with me sat there feeling so stressed not knowing what to say or do to help her, I thought I could somehow miraculously cure her and everything would be ok, but lets face it reader this only really happens in the movies. I myself used to break down in tears, I’ll admit it, I was under so much stress, my health suffered, I lost weight, I stopped sleeping, I felt ill all the time, I was a real mess. The problem was I loved her so much I didn’t want to leave her, but I felt at the time that she was growing to resent me, as I caused her problems, and disturbed her routinend life. Anyway, we did break up in the end, I was young and had no real understanding of what she was suffering from, at the time I was angry towards her, thinking ‘Why did she treat me this way, Why was she always shouting at me’ Now I realise the issues she was going through and know she didn’t mean anything she said, but you must understand reader that at the time I guess I was trying my best, I did only what I knew at the time, and now I put to you reader that people who live with others who have OCD, suffer greatly as well, You need to realise that the person living with you isn’t you , doesn’t have the same thoughts as you, it wouldn’t occur to your loved one to wash there hands three or four times or to obsessively straighten objects in your home. Its hard to live in someone else’s world, especially one who suffers from OCD, , your loved one cares for you and would do anything for you but don’t punishing them if they do something that distresses you, to you the action might be disturbing and wrong but to your loved one it would seem normal, everyday, an action everybody does, please remember they are trying to live in your world, and its not easy. I recently got an email from a young man, and it sounded like he was in the same position I was, he said that his girlfriend suffered greatly from OCD, , she screamed and self hurt, and he was in tears every day, It made me really sad to read it, as I know he loves her and would do anything for her, I gave him some advice from experience, and I hope it helped. This letter made me realise more then ever that there’s two people in the relationship and this point of view from the loved one or friend has to be made aware off.